Let’s start by going back about 5 years (give or take a year). I decided to lose weight. I was around 28 years old. Was not happy with my body image but never really TRIED to do anything about it. Then I litteraly woke up one day, something clicked and I quit drinking sugar loaded cokes, started counting calories religiously (yes, every single calorie that entered my body!) and started exercising. I stayed motivated and did AWESOME!!! I consistently lose weekly. In the end I lost a total of 70 lbs in about 7 months. I felt amazing! I actually got worried because I hadn’t plateaued and I knew I would slow down at the weight loss and I was worried that struggle to move past this would kill my motivation to keep going. We decide to move and in that I lost my walking paths and my elliptical (it quit working L) Long story shortend up a bit I slowly gained back every single pound I lost! I was so PISSED off at myself! Why did I let this happen? I knew what I needed to do! I just didn’t do it. I got to where I pretty much ignored the fact that I threw away everything I worked so hard for! There were many times I tried to get back into it but my motivation was gone!
Fast forward to last year. More specific September 2012. I just got home from a 3 day Goddess retreat where I had a blast! So much fun and I couldn’t wait to do it again next year! THAT was the last time I felt “normal”. It wasn’t long after that, I started having trouble sleeping. Which was really odd for me! I NEVER had trouble sleeping! It transitioned to different issues like waking up and having a hard time catching my breath to waking up every morning with a horrible headache! I was up and down all night and I was starting to feel it at work and school. Lets move up to January 2013, all these symptoms are getting worse but now I seem to get winded while walking. But, I realized that I could sleep while sitting up in a chair! (ok… let me just say in hind site I know there was about a million warning signs to get my butt to a doctor but I’m gonna be honest and tell you they scared the shit out of me!) The shortness of breath got worse (a lot worse) to the point where I couldn’t even walk to my bathroom without taking breaks! (seriously 3 Breaks!!!) My school was suffering and honestly it’s a good thing I wasn’t working because there is no way I could have made it! I ended up having to sit out of my school with only my fieldwork to do! (That killed me!)
Now its July 2013, I can’t take it anymore so I force myself to go to the ER. After 2 weeks in the EKG’s, 2 X-rays, 3 echocardiograms, CAT Scan and an MRI, I found out that I had Congestive Heart Failure, Fluid around my heart and high blood pressure!!! WTF! This is not supposed to happen, I am only 32 years old!
OK… now to present day! I feel so much better! I can breathe! I take my medicine to keep everything under control. I know I have to get my weight under control. Not because I want to be skinny! (That was a driving force the first time I lost weight) I am learning to love myself, no matter what I look like! You know what, it’s a wonderful feeling! I need to lose weight to be healthier! Especially with the medical issues I had last year! THIS is a new year! I can do this and I WILL do this! I will do this for my children, I will do this for my parents, I will do this for my family, I will do this for my friends… but most importantly, I will do this for ME! There’s no shame in that! By stopping and taking the time to take care of me will allow me to be a part of the lives of all my friends and family! By putting myself first, I will be able to take care of my children and watch them grow! THAT is more than enough reason to tell myself to STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!! NOW IS THE TIME!
Starting January 3, 2014 I began again on my road to a healthier lifestyle. I am excited and I can’t wait to see where I am in January 2015!